Boys and girls are different. I know, no shocker there. These differences are noticed in children very early on, which leads us to believe that it’s purely biology, hormones, and genes that makes boys and girls that way. However, some say that the way parents behave around their babies also has an effect on a child’s temperament. For instance, it’s said that girls tend to be more nurturing and sensitive to emotions because parents are quick to cuddle their baby girls when they’re upset and are more likely to let the baby boys cry it out.
This clip from the 1994 film The Little Rascals seems like it overly exaggerates those differences between boys and girls, but I have found that some of the things the kids say about the opposite sex are quite true. Girls get along with each other, they care, and they talk a lot while boys stand up for themselves, they take what’s theirs, and they play rough.
Of course, not all kids will conform to their gender norms. There are exceptions, such as “tom boys” who are girls that like to do boy things. And then the boys that would rather play house or paint instead of play basketball are sometimes given nick names too. But are their nicknames as harmless as “tom boy”? Not at all.
After presenting some basic differences between boys and girls and whether those are biologically or environmentally based, I’d now like to focus on another important aspect of gender, that being the topic of same-sex attraction.
Since the late 70s the percentage of people in the U.S. who believe homosexuality is something a person is born with has gone up and the percentage of people who believe it’s due to upbringing and environment has gone down. There have been a number of studies to try to find more information on this, but it’s safe to say that ever since being part of the LGBT community became more widely accepted in the United States and less foreign the studies have ceased and there’s this sort of expectation that everyone should know that homosexuals are indeed born that way – it’s not a choice.
Earlier this week quite the stir in the news and social media was caused by Supreme Court nominee Judge Amy Barrett when she used the term “sexual preference”. On Tuesday October 13th Senator Mazie Hirono called Barrett out saying, "Sexual preference is an offensive and outdated term, it is used by anti-LGBTQ activists to suggest that sexual orientation is a choice -- it is not." The next day Merriam-Webster changed it's definition of "preference" to include the word "offensive" whereas before the definition spoke of sexual orientation.
Going back to all those differences I spoke of between boys and girls, and in light of this very informative video Understanding Same-Sex Attraction which shared the experiences of several men who dealt with unwanted same-sex attraction, it seems that there is reason to believe that, contrary to popular belief, homosexuality is largely caused by upbringing and environment. There were many correlations between the men in the video such as being sexually abused when they were younger, lacking connection with a father and being too involved with mom, and being bullied. I am not suggesting that these things cause same-sex attraction but it's very possible that they play a part.
Daryl G. Bem, a social psychologist, came up with the "Exotic Becomes Erotic" theory, which is roughly summarized in the diagram to the left. I feel like his theory provides wonderful insight into how experiencing same-sex attraction can feel like it's something a person was born with, when in reality there are lots of environmental and social factors that play a role.
“The central proposition of EBE theory is that individuals can become erotically attracted to a class of individuals from whom they felt different during childhood.”
I briefly touched on the nickname thing before, how boys that tended towards "girly" activities would be called more offensive nicknames. Especially if they're given those nicknames by their boy peers then they will begin to feel different from them.
So many things play a part in this that it doesn't really make sense to me that homosexuality is just something people are born with. I'd love to hear more people's thoughts on this matter, though, as it is a sensitives subject and I am no expert.
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