Thanks for following along as we learned and discussed important topics concerning the family! Here's a quick review of some of my favorite things I learned over the past few months.
1. Being familiar with the Relationship Attachment Model, created by John Van Epp, helps us have the healthiest and happiest relationship possible.
There are distinctive steps in a relationship: dating, courtship, engagement, and marriage. Today the lines have been blurred meaning that couples sort of slide from one step to the next either too quickly or without enough recognition towards the serious steps they are taking. The Relationship Attachment Model helps people ensure that they know who they are dating well enough to progress in the relationship confidently. The RAM measures things like how well you know, trust, rely on, are committed to, and how much physical touch there is, in that order. John Van Epp says that a healthy relationship should progress from left to right. If there’s too much physical touch without enough knowledge or trust than you skew the model and the relationship isn’t very healthy.
2. Family work is a great opportunity for family bonding that we can’t get anywhere else.
Families enjoy passing the time together in a variety of ways. A common family activity is playing sports or games which involve a level of competition. There are certain skills or life lessons that can be learned from competition experiences, but there are significantly more valuable traits and ways a family can grow when they work together. Some families might feel limited, as far as providing opportunities for everybody to work together goes, especially if both parents have jobs and aren’t home often. While it may seem worth it to get that second income, having two parents work outside the home actually increases expenses.
3. Daryl G. Bem’s “Exotic Becomes Erotic” theory provides wonderful insight into how experiencing same-sex attraction can feel like it’s something a person was born with, when in reality there are lots of environmental and social factors that play a role.
Since the late 70s the percentage of people in the U.S. who believe homosexuality is something a person is born with has gone up. If that’s the case, then does gender have a purpose? There is ample evidence that there are noticeable differences between boys and girls, even when they are babies. If we are born with these distinct character traits and differences then it’s safe to say that gender does have a purpose, so why do some people feel like they came into this world being “wired” differently? Daryl G. Bem’s “Exotic Becomes Erotic” theory starts with biological variables which lead into childhood temperaments. Then there’s a stage in a child’s life where they can choose between sex-typical or atypical activity preferences. A little girl choosing “boy” activities may seem harmless at first, but as they grow up and continue to tend towards those activities, they’ll feel different from their same-sex peers which can eventually lead to an erotic attraction to the same-sex.
4. A crisis can either make or break a family. There are many tools for effective coping, but one of the most important things a family can do is develop certain family strengths, that way they have a good foundation for when a crisis comes.
The experiences and lessons learned when people go through difficult trials stick with them and follow them into their next trial. There are certain ways in which we can ensure that we are effectively handling a family crisis, therefore, better preparing us for future crises. Some of the coping tools for dealing with a crisis include taking responsibility, affirming your worth, finding a balance between self-concern and other concern, reframing, and using available resources. Additionally, there are many different types of stressor events, such as internal and external, ambiguous and nonambiguous, and chronic and acute.
I probably never would have had an interest in studying these things if I had never asked questions or sought out reliable resources. I encourage everyone, whether you're a parent, a spouse, or are dating, to learn more about relationships and family dynamics so that you can have the happiest and healthiest relationships possible.
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