Culture: What's Passed Down and What's Created?

For a year and a half I was a full-time missionary for the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints in Los Angeles, California. While I lived there, I primarily associated with Latinos, but I also got to meet all kinds of people from different parts of the world. Before I continue, I should set something straight. Since this blog’s title has to do with culture, you are probably thinking that I am just another person who wants to talk about how living in LA and experiencing different cultures changed my life. Although that is true, I’m not here to talk about culture as it pertains to race or ethnic background. I want to discuss culture, specifically family culture, in a much broader sense to include values, interests, and what ultimately makes each family unique.

Back to my missionary days in Los Angeles. I had the opportunity to do all kinds of community service. One of the more memorable service experiences took place in Rancho Palos Verdes. If you are not familiar with the area, very affluent people live there. Another missionary and I would show up at this lady’s house where we would roll up and tie knitted scarves that had been donated and then, if I remember correctly, the scarves would be sent to women’s shelters.

The reason this service project was especially memorable was because of the women I chit-chatted with as we rolled up scarves. Their conversation topics revolved around books, films, and their luxurious vacations overseas. Their hobbies and experiences, as middle-aged women living in Southern California, were completely different than mine. I have probably never felt so out of place in my entire life. And it wasn’t because I was uncomfortable; they were very welcoming people. It’s because not only was their social culture – their values, pastimes, family dynamics, and so on – different than mine, I had also never been around people like them before. Going to that lady’s house was like going to a different planet.

I am sure you’ve had similar experiences as well, like when you would go over to a friend’s house and notice all the ways their family does things differently than yours. The underlying reason is simply family culture. We often don’t realize what our own family culture is until we encounter one that is completely opposite. According to Ann Kroeker, a good way to pin-point your family’s culture is to ask yourself questions such as:

· What are my family’s values?

· What is the “feel” of our household?

· What activities do we invest time and money in to?

For my family, culture is largely based on religion. The picture above shows three documents that hang on the wall of our home, written by apostles and prophets of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints (The Family: A Proclamation to the World, The Articles of Faith, and the Living Christ). They aren't the sole determinants of what our culture is, but they've helped us center our family on Jesus Christ and His church.

Some of the things we value are family gatherings, scripture study, sports, music, and theater. I’d say the “feel” of our household is relaxed, warm, and inviting. Activities that we like to do together are going to the movie theater and playing board games. Some of these things are bits and pieces of the culture my parents liked from their families and chose to pass on to their kids while others are things they created themselves to meet the needs of family members. And as my older siblings have gotten married, we’ve been able to experience a little bit of our in-laws’ cultures as well.

While family culture may be influenced by factors such as social class and geographic location, we can still choose for ourselves the aspects of our family culture that we want to keep and perpetuate to future generations and the aspects we’d like to get rid of. I think that that’s really cool. So take time to consider what your family culture is like and if there’s something you’d like to add or take away to effectively meet the needs of your family members.